출장지에서 엽서 보내기 – 실행에 옮겼다…

21 Ways to Mess up Your Career As an “Engineer” at Workplace
January 19, 2010
By Kisup
1. create your own letterhead as a part of “updated resume” and leave on the copy machine
2. give customized gifts to “vendors” for no reason at all. You will get bigger ones later
3. clean up your desk spotless, leaving nothing at all on top of it every day. Then your office became a task-force meeting room with an instant chair for many asses
4. buy professional-grade fonts and apply them to all the document you print out. Then you will get a warning email from HR and mandatory survey form to review the company templates
5. use Keynote instead of PowerPoint for preparing presentation materials. And you have to prepare exactly the same presentation in Power Point for your manager privately
6. print your own name card on top-notch stock paper of your own choice. You will be the number one in lay-off list for giving them a wrong impression of having two jobs
7. take pictures with unusual individuals and place the photo on your desk. Be sure to entitle “out of spec”
8. buy a copy of any New York Times bestseller and place it on your desk even if you won’t read it. You will get one more project in next meeting
9. replace dull pictures on the wall with MOMA-grade art photography. Remember. It’s MOMA not NANO. Manager may think you are in COMA though.
10. subscribe to Communication Arts magazine on behalf of the office. Manager will ask why you did not communicate with him before ordering.
11. be a self-appointed photographer for client meetings and company events  HR will think (somehow) I can read those tiny letters on the document as a blurry background (intentionally).
12. fill the office refrigerator with Perrier (or any other not-so-usual beverage) and let people enjoy it. You will not get “we-sang” from the cafeteria lady.
13. bring your team members to most unusual places for official lunch or dinner occasions  make sure it is “unusual” to other engineers.
14. write postcards to your family, friends, and colleagues during your business trips.  Company will be very happy to let you write every week.
15. if your’s is a kind of company that does not publish annual reports, make one yourselfif you can still remember what you did a year ago, you should do managing, not engineering
16. buy tickets to art exhibitions and musical shows for your boss  He thinks you are confused MMM inter-mag conference with Mmm…(?) or RIE stripper with strip bar
17. replace dull-looking wall clocks, wall calendars, trash cans with modern-looking, cool ones overnight.  Your new trash-can will be gone, thinking another consuming part from a process module. Manger will be happy to put red circles on project due dates. You will be asked to synchronize the wall clock to the US official time on http://www.time.gov/
18. bring sheets of paper to meetings and draw mind map of the on-going discussions. Just remember to cover it with any data shit(?). Occasional nodding is essential.
19. summarize everything to one-page format, and then condense the ideas on that page into one short sentence. Memorize the short one but always present the 10 pager that was made based upon one-page format
20. give names to everything you see in the office in your own way. Then condense the list into one sentence
21. don’t ask for “promotion”, ask for forgiveness.